3 Ways to Eliminate Comparison

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daily yoga, gratitude, mindfulness, self-confidence, yoga comparison, yoga habits, yoga mental health, Yoga With Paul

Blogging about yoga for a quiet mind got me thinking about the things that make our minds unquiet. All kinds of beliefs, assumptions, fears and insecurities keep us on edge, waiting for something to change before we can be at peace.

Comparison is one of the big underlying reasons we feel these emotions. It’s a burly taproot, nourishing the small, leafy anxieties of daily life.

Photo by William Warby on Unsplash

From the moment we’re born people compare us – are we cuter, happier, quicker to walk or talk than other babies?

When we go to school, our achievements are compared to others. Whatever we do, from sport to dating, is a basis for comparison. Instead of discovering our intrinsic worth, we are taught our value lies in out-doing someone else.

Comparison is a happiness killer. It dulls our self-confidence and stops us from having whole-hearted relationships. It is a tough habit to break but these three steps can help eliminate comparisons and open you to a richer, happier life.

Tune into the soundtrack in your head

The first thing you have to do to stop comparison is to become aware of what you’re doing. We all have a running mental soundtrack. We are so used to constantly judging other people, and ourselves, that it is almost reflexive. If a colleague gets a promotion, your first impulse might be to feel envious, or insecure that you weren’t chosen. When you consciously examine this thought, you realise that actually they are going to have a lot more work, and that they have totally different experience. Their status is not a reflection on you.

Cultivate gratitude

Someone is always better off than you, and someone is always worse off. Comparison keeps us tugging back and forth between envy and pride, if we let it. Gratitude helps us take a different course. When we make a conscious decision to think about and appreciate the blessings we have – health, friends, hobbies, food, shelter, and so much more – we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves to others. We may not have everything, but we have an abundance.

Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

Practice non-judgmental yoga

Yoga can easily lure us into comparing our practice, postures or bodies with others. This makes it a great opportunity to work on new ways of thinking. To practice non-judgmental yoga, ground yourself in the breath. Focus your whole energy on the movement within your own body. Observe the way your chest rises and falls, the connection of muscles and bones. If you need to, slow down from your regular pace to really concentrate. Gradually, with time, you will find it easier to sink into your own practice instead of getting lured into comparison.

Read more: Body Image Boost, How to Want What You’ve Got

Yoga = CommUnity

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Help Refugees, human rights, Imads Syrian Kitchen, London pop-up restaurant, London volunteering, refugees, yoga community, yoga philosophy, Yoga With Paul

Yoga means unity. Every practice is individual but it shouldn’t be solitary. Part of growing as a yogi is extending the benefits we experience to others, in whatever form possible.

I recently spent an inspiring day volunteering at Imad’s Syrian Kitchen, participating in a fundraiser for Help Refugees.

Imad is a wonderful spirit, a refugee himself who is using his skills as a chef and restauranteur to aid others who are struggling to reach safety and rebuild their lives.

It reminded me how closely linked we are as humans. We can’t ignore what’s happening around us, or the needs of others, because we are all connected. We live here together, on this planet, in this moment. We have a daily opportunity to make the world a better place by how we choose to relate.

By participating in our community, we embody the true meaning of yoga. The inward unity of mind-body-spirit that we seek in the studio becomes woven into the fabric of our relationships with others. It truly makes a difference.

Even if you don’t have time to volunteer, there are lots of ways to engage with your community. It might be as simple as helping a neighbour, making a donation or signing a petition to support a good cause. Whatever you can do, don’t wait. Do it!

More about Help Refugees

Help Refugees started as nothing more than a hashtag in August 2015. A group of friends wanted to raise and fill a van full of donations to take down to Calais. Within a week, we had raised . We were soon receiving 7,000 items every day.

Fast forward three years, and we have helped over 722,500 people, managed over 25,000 volunteers, and we support more 80 projects across Europe and the Middle East. We have established a fieldwork first, networked approach to giving aid, establishing local networks and working with local partners to deliver projects.

Click here to learn more and get involved!

The Gift of Metta

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Christmas spirit, healing yoga, holiday yoga, loving kindness meditation, metta meditation, yoga, yoga meditation, yoga teacher, Yoga With Paul

Just a short post to share the gift of metta, which means loving kindness.

This beautiful meditation cultivates loving kindness for ourselves, our loved ones, those who we struggle to love, and all living beings. Do it today, do it every day… Namaste.

Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash

There are many versions of the meditation. This is from 5809Yoga.com

This prayer traditionally is repeated four times:

• First to oneself
• Then to someone it is so easy to love
• Next to someone who needs a little more love
• Lastly, to all beings everywhere

Metta Meditation

Say first to yourself:
May I feel protected and safe.
May my heart remain open.
May I awaken to the light of my true nature.
May I be healed, and be a source of healing for the world.
Thinking of someone it is so easy to love.
Draw this person close to your heart & your mind and send them metta:
May you feel protected and safe.
May your heart remain open.
May you awaken to the light of your true nature.
May you be healed, and be a source of healing for the world.
Next, thinking of someone who needs a little more love.
Draw this person close to your heart & your mind. Send this person metta:
May you feel protected and safe.
May your heart remain open.
May you awaken to the light of your true nature.
May you be healed, and be a source of healing for the world.
Lastly, to all beings everywhere:
May we feel protected and safe.
May our hearts remain open.
May we awaken to the light of our true nature.
May we be healed, and be a source of healing for the world.

Wishing you a joyous Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice or whatever you observe!

Make This Your Lucky Day

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be lucky, Friday 13th, inspiration, Karma, luck, mindfulness, philosophy of yoga, yoga karma, yoga philosophy, Yoga With Paul

Friday the 13th is traditionally bad luck, which makes today the perfect time to reflect on what “luck” means — and how we can make today (and every day) our “lucky day”.

Be lucky

Luck implies that life is something that happens to us. Depending on the era and culture, people have believed that God, the Gods, fate, or some other force is responsible for handing out good and bad events.

Yoga teaches us about karma — that what we experience is a response to what do. Our actions are the root from which karma grows. They determine our “luck”.

Here are five ways to make today your lucky day.

Express love

Take the time today to tell your loved ones that you love them. Sure, they know you love them, but actually saying the words, expressing them out loud, will is an affirmation that will lift them up — and you.

Let one thing go

We all have little things that drive us crazy — the weather, a co-worker, our commute. Today, think of one of these things and make a conscious decision to let it go. Just brush it off, ignore it, don’t give it your mental energy. You’ll be surprised how free you feel.

Do a headstand

Inversions literally let us look at the world from a new angle. Headstands refresh and revitalise our mind and body and they’re just plain fun.

Give

We are exceptionally blessed in our material circumstances, which makes us an exception in the world. Take an opportunity today to share your abundance. This might mean a financial donation, but it could equally be a gift of time, attention, or expertise.

Set your intention

Our attitudes and actions are guided by our intentions. If we want to move through life in health, peace, and happiness, we need to make a conscious decision to value those things (and the actions that bring us closer to them). Today, take some time to think about what matters to you — then set your intention to guide you.

How do you bring luck into your life? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

“Always Something Left to Love”

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A Raisin in the Sun, literature, Lorraine Hansberry, love yoga, quotes yoga, relationships, yoga compassion, yoga mindfulness, Yoga With Paul

One important thing about yoga is it helps us open up emotionally. Regular practice amplifies our capacity for love and compassion. To me, practicing yoga is an important part of learning to be present and loving in all my relationships.

So when a friend shared this beautiful passage with me, I had to share it with you. The following is a conversation from the famous play A Raisin in the Sun by the great Black American playwright Lorraine Hansberry. The dialogue takes place between daughter Beneatha and her Mama. They are talking about their brother/son Walter, who has just lost the family’s fortune. Mama’s wisdom is something we should all keep with us.

Beneatha: Love him? There is nothing left to love.

Mama: There is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing. Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for yourself and for the family ’cause we lost the money. I mean for him: what he been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most? When they done good and  made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain’t through learning — because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ’cause the world done whipped him so! When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is.

What are your favourite quotes about love?

Dharma Mittra Wisdom

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Dharma Yoga Center, Sri Dharma Mittra, yoga, yoga guru, yoga inspiration, yoga philosophy, yoga quotes, yoga teacher, yoga teacher training, Yoga With Paul, yogi wisdom

Some of my most profound experiences in yoga have been training with Sri Dharma Mittra. His wisdom, grace, insight and devotion to the practice are a shining inspiration.

Following the Dharma Yoga Center on Twitter is a great way to get a regular dose of his wise words. Here are some of my favourite quotes from recent weeks.

“Before you practice, always offer thanks to whomever you believe in and invite all beings everywhere to enjoy the practice through your body, mind and senses.”

“When you are quiet, you see everything with love.”

“Don’t be attached, not even to your practice! Attachment is the third cause of pain and suffering.”

“Observe the thoughts. Let them rise and fade away. They are a result of your deeds from the past.”

 

“Remember always that the Real Teacher is right there in you. The Real Teacher is within your own heart.”

“It’s the body and mind that pass through experience. Don’t lose your control. Yogis stand supreme whether dealing with something pleasant or unpleasant.”

“It´s only in a human body that you can make spiritual progress. This body, this very life you have, it’s so precious. Think about it.”

Share a favourite quote or message of inspiration in the comments!

 

Best of the Year: Yoga Books

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best yoga books, BKS Iyengar, Christine Brown, Every Body Yoga, Jessamyn Stanley, Light On Yoga, The Heart of Yoga, The Yoga Bible, TKV Desikachar, yoga, yoga guide, yoga teachers, Yoga With Paul

A great yoga book can inspire and strengthen your practice. After comparing a number of “best of 2017” books articles I picked out four that appeared on multiple  lists and have gotten great reader reviews across the board. Read on!

The Heart of Yoga by T. K. V. Desikachar

“This is hands down one of the must-have books for anyone making a deep move into the field of Yoga. This is a contemporary classic by a world-renowned teacher, and beautifully captures the essence of Yoga. It is not just a step to step guide to learn Yoga, but it helps you understand it in the true sense. It outlines a step-by-step sequence to develop a complete practice according to Viniyoga (the type of yoga which adapts to the needs of the Yogi).” for more read the full review here

Light on Yoga B. K. S. Iyengar

“If you are looking for a completely definitive guide to Yoga and wish to understand the deeper philosophy behind it as well (and not just the postures), this bible of modern yoga book is just the right pick for you. It has vivid details of all the postures and various breathing exercises (along with complete illustrations) to give you a truly wonderful experience of learning Yoga.” for more read the full review here

The Yoga Bible by Christine Brown

“This book is the #1 Best Seller in its genre on Amazon for a reason. As the name suggests in a very interesting way, this book is indeed the Bible of Yoga, if one puts it that way. It is one of the most comprehensive illustrated step-by-step guides available out there on Yoga postured. It has more than 150 different yogic postures for the reader to master along with advice on when to alter postures and which postures to try. It has a little something for everybody, from beginners to experts.” for more read the full review here

Every Body Yoga by Jessamyn Stanley

“This is the inspirational story of someone who struggled to fit into the classic image of a yoga practitioner but was resilient and determined, so much so that she truly is inspiration in encouraging others to persevere and have a go. The book is part memoir about the author’s experiences and also celebrates some of her achievements, gives background information on the different types of yoga and equipment options but it is also a fun guide to basic yoga poses.

One of the best bits about the poses is that they aren’t demonstrated by the stereotypical skinny, flexible blonde but by all shapes and sizes of people. The instructions are clear and easy to follow, the photos motivating” for more read the full review here

Recommend your favourite yoga book in the comments!

Yoga with a Sense of Humour

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daily yoga practice, every day Dharma, Jack Kornfield, meditation, mindfulness, relaxed yoga, yoga breath, yoga humour, Yoga With Paul

There are a lot of ways that yoga and meditative practice can help us be calmer and more relaxed in daily life. As we dedicate ourselves to turning up at the studio and giving our best effort, in the moment, we learn to work with the ebb and flow of our bodies and emotions. As we experience these benefits though, we can get a little bit greedy.

It is easy to start thinking that if we do yoga, and/or meditate regularly, we should feel happy and content all the time. And that if we still experience frustration, annoyance or sadness something is “not working”. This can subtly shift into either blaming our practice for not making us feel better, or blaming ourselves for not doing it right. We feel cheated or discouraged, or like failures.

Make time to be playful!

The antidote is not to give up on the practice, or to give up on feeling happy. Yoga teaches us to go beyond binary yes/no, black/white, good/bad ways of thinking. What we can do, if we get caught in this cycle of expectation, is step back and cultivate a sense of humour.

Humour? How does that work?

Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield puts it like this:

There’s a certain sense of humor that is absolutely necessary for our human condition. When we have that sense of humor, things become workable. It’s the part that we put on top of our ordinary human experience—and we all put something on top of it when we started our spiritual search—that creates the problem. You then not only have your own suffering, you have all these ideals and images that you hold up for yourself. That puts a layer of spiritual suffering on top of the basic suffering.

Instead of adding a layer of worry to our existing frustration or depression, we can choose to look at our situation differently. Short of actual tragedy, most of the stuff we worry about is pretty absurd in the scheme of things. Late for a meeting? Shop sold out of the item you wanted? Partner forgot to put out the rubbish? Instead of getting upset, appreciate how mundane and funny life’s potholes can be. Take a deep breath. Put things in context. Look for the lightness in the situation.

Cultivate a sense of humour in the studio, too. When you find a posture difficult, or your hamstrings feel like they’ll never move again, or the person next to you topples onto your mat, relax instead of tensing up. Smile. Breathe. Be happy in the moment.

How do you cultivate a sense of humour in your life? Share in the comments.

The Yoga of Happiness

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Thich Nhat Hanh, yoga benefits, yoga depression, yoga happiness, yoga meditation, yoga mindfulness, yoga unity, Yoga With Paul

Yoga is a tool for creating balance. The postures or asanas are a way to calm the physical body in order to quiet the mind. As every yoga practitioner knows, this makes it an incredibly useful for helping overcome anxiety, stress, negative thinking and depression. Numerous studies have shown yoga’s ability to overcome physical illness and lift our mood. So it is easy to grasp at yoga when we’re down in the dumps.

If that’s all we use yoga for, however, we are missing an important piece of the practice. The aim aim of mindfulness is not to feel a particular way, but to be present and open to whatever we feel in the moment. Remember, yoga means unity. In true unity there is no divide between happiness and sadness, they are both parts of the whole fabric of life.

When we feel great, it is easy to let yoga slide. We think we don’t “need” it because we’re already happy. But yoga is there to balance our hearts and minds in every emotional state. Reeling with happiness is just as much an extreme as sinking into deep depression.

Life is a continuous series of up and down, back and forth, light and dark, good and bad. If we want to find a genuine stability we have to be aware that both sides of the coin are temporary. We react to them differently, but they are equally fleeting.

To achieve deep peace of mind, we have to be relaxed in both joy and sorrow. This is hard, because we want to hang on to happiness. When we receive praise or love or a gift we want to cling to that sensation. But if we do, we lose the ability to be open and non-attached. Then, when we have a bad day, or suffer a loss, we get stuck because we’ve forgotten how to let go.

It’s our human nature to grab onto pleasure and try to run away from pain, but yoga can help us escape that constant cycle. It teaches us to be present and accepting of the moment — of our breath, our physical body, our thoughts, and our intentions. Next time you’re in the studio and feel incredibly good, or incredibly bad, breathe into that feeling and remind yourself that life is unity. Everything flows, if we let it.

Share your thoughts on yoga and happiness in the comments!

 

Yoga for Self-Awareness

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breath yoga, healing practice, meditation, mindfulness, self-awareness, Ujjayi, yoga, yoga mindfulness, Yoga With Paul

Self-awareness can transform our lives. When we understand why we do what we do, we have the power to change. Without self-awareness, we falter in our attempts to make even small changes — for example, or be more patient with work colleagues.

Why is self-awareness so important? Because it reveals the motivation behind our actions. If we think our irritability at work is due to a colleague’s annoying habits, we keep being irritated. If we examine the situation with the goal of becoming self-aware we may discover our irritation is actually a mask for resentment or for insecurity. Shining the light of self-awareness on a situation lets us to address the real problem.

Self-awareness is something we can cultivate through yoga, in and out of the studio. The following three practices will help to develop self-awareness and create new avenues for growth and change.

 

 

 

Awareness of breath

Breathing is a fundamental element of yoga that you can tune into at any point in your day, this makes it a powerful aid to self-awareness. ArtofLiving.org suggests this five-step Ujjayi ritual to begin a meditation:

1. Sit comfortably in a chair. You may also sit cross-legged on the ground or on a yoga mat.
2. Slowly breathe out while making a “Ha” sound.
3. Now stretch this “Ha” sound, so that it becomes a long deep breath “Haaaaaaa”.
4. Breathe in while slowly making the “Ha” sound, but this time close your mouth. Feeling the throat slightly constricted and air flowing at the throat
5. With the mouth closed, continue breathing like this, in and out, for 10 long deep breaths. As you take in a long deep “in” breath, breathe an equally long “out” breath.

If you’re on the train, at work, in a shop, or anywhere, you can tune in to consciously taking long, slow, equal in and out breaths to calm your mind. When you do this, you calm your body’s stress reactions and slow racing thoughts. This gives you the space to analyse your mind and bring full consciousness to a situation instead of reacting.

Awareness of asana

Use your time in yoga class to practice observing and understanding your body-mind connection, this will increase your awareness of how you respond to your surroundings and condition. Ask yourself questions as you move through your practice: Why do you choose your particular spot in the studio? What thoughts do you observe as you wait for class to begin? Do you anticipate or dread certain poses? How do you respond to other students’ presence and energy? What emotions arise if you fall out of a posture? As you become aware of your reactions to the asanas you begin to understand how you relate to the physical world at large.

Awareness of meditation

Meditation teaches us to observe our feelings without being carried away. When we meditate we observe thoughts and feelings that arise, without attaching to them. Emotions are waves that sweep in and knock us off our feet. When we develop self-awareness through meditation we begin to understand their origin, just as scientists, through study, learn how waves are generated. As we do so, we may find areas that need healing or care — such as grief, disappointment or loss. Once we know what needs attention, we have the chance to work towards positive change.

What is your definition of self-awareness? Share in the comments?