3 Ways to Eliminate Comparison

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daily yoga, gratitude, mindfulness, self-confidence, yoga comparison, yoga habits, yoga mental health, Yoga With Paul

Blogging about yoga for a quiet mind got me thinking about the things that make our minds unquiet. All kinds of beliefs, assumptions, fears and insecurities keep us on edge, waiting for something to change before we can be at peace.

Comparison is one of the big underlying reasons we feel these emotions. It’s a burly taproot, nourishing the small, leafy anxieties of daily life.

Photo by William Warby on Unsplash

From the moment we’re born people compare us – are we cuter, happier, quicker to walk or talk than other babies?

When we go to school, our achievements are compared to others. Whatever we do, from sport to dating, is a basis for comparison. Instead of discovering our intrinsic worth, we are taught our value lies in out-doing someone else.

Comparison is a happiness killer. It dulls our self-confidence and stops us from having whole-hearted relationships. It is a tough habit to break but these three steps can help eliminate comparisons and open you to a richer, happier life.

Tune into the soundtrack in your head

The first thing you have to do to stop comparison is to become aware of what you’re doing. We all have a running mental soundtrack. We are so used to constantly judging other people, and ourselves, that it is almost reflexive. If a colleague gets a promotion, your first impulse might be to feel envious, or insecure that you weren’t chosen. When you consciously examine this thought, you realise that actually they are going to have a lot more work, and that they have totally different experience. Their status is not a reflection on you.

Cultivate gratitude

Someone is always better off than you, and someone is always worse off. Comparison keeps us tugging back and forth between envy and pride, if we let it. Gratitude helps us take a different course. When we make a conscious decision to think about and appreciate the blessings we have – health, friends, hobbies, food, shelter, and so much more – we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves to others. We may not have everything, but we have an abundance.

Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

Practice non-judgmental yoga

Yoga can easily lure us into comparing our practice, postures or bodies with others. This makes it a great opportunity to work on new ways of thinking. To practice non-judgmental yoga, ground yourself in the breath. Focus your whole energy on the movement within your own body. Observe the way your chest rises and falls, the connection of muscles and bones. If you need to, slow down from your regular pace to really concentrate. Gradually, with time, you will find it easier to sink into your own practice instead of getting lured into comparison.

Read more: Body Image Boost, How to Want What You’ve Got

3 Ways to Free Yourself from Frustration

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daily yoga, empathy, every day yoga, frustration, patience, yoga endurance, yoga mindfulness, Yoga With Paul

Frustration is a part of life. Daily life is full of irritations large and small: being cut off in a queue, put on hold, or realising you overpaid for an item, clashing with a boss or friend. Like water behind a dam, they can build up until we reach breaking point and use unhealthy coping mechanisms – like yelling, or eating a whole bar of chocolate.

We can’t avoid everything that causes frustration, but we can find positive ways to deal with it – and transform our experience of daily life. These three practices are not about “building a better dam” to suppress your feelings but about transforming your perspective to truly free yourself from frustration.

Let it go! Photo by Ankush Minda on Unsplash

Appreciate what you have

The philosopher Epictetus said a person can only lose what he or she has – in other words, even our frustrations are grounded in blessings. If you come back to your car to find a parking ticket, take a moment to consider that you are fortunate to own a car, and have the health and ability to drive it. This mindset is especially helpful in relationships. When (inevitably) you are annoyed with your partner, friend or child, think about how blessed you are to have that person in your life.

Practice constructive empathy

Empathy is being able to see things from another person’s perspective. Unfortunately, it tends to dissipate in situations where we feel wronged or short-changed. This is why the discipline of constructive empathy is so important. The next time someone – whether a stranger, shop assistant, or colleague – bugs you, stop and put yourself in his or her shoes. Really think about how they feel and how they might perceive the interaction. This is a profound way of acknowledging someone as a fellow human, and even if it doesn’t solve the situation, it will free you to experience it with compassion and understanding.

Cultivate endurance

The stronger you are physically, the stronger you become mentally. As yoga builds endurance and stamina in the body, it strengthens our mental and emotional fortitude. Every time you step into a yoga studio, you are developing discipline and patience. Every time you hold that posture a half-second longer, you are training yourself to withstand difficulties. Every time you fall out of a posture and get back in, you are reminding yourself that setbacks are temporary. Not only that, the regenerating, energising, calming effects of yoga make you more resilient to frustration in the first place!

Read more: 3 Ways to Be Patient, Yoga With a Sense of Humor,

Karma Yoga – PHBGTU

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karma yoga, Phuket Has Been Good To Us, Phuket travel, yoga abroad, yoga benefits, yoga charity, yoga Thailand, Yoga With Paul

Recently, I had the incredible experience of going to Thailand and spending time with the wonderful kids (and adults) of Phuket Has Been Good To Us (phbgtu). This organisation works to improve the opportunities and life chances of underprivileged Thai youth through high quality English language education.

Shiny, happy beaches

During my time there, I had the chance to participate in a beach clean-up with the kids — what fantastic, joyous bunch they are! It was also a tremendous privilege to present donations to the organisation so it can continue its positive work.

It was a simple reminder that we can help others in so many ways. Taking time out from our busy lives we can make a difference and create a smile.

You don’t have to go to Thailand, either. Volunteering in your own community, or simply reaching out to a struggling friend or loved one has just as much impact and meaning as travelling halfway around the world.

So wherever you are, extend a hand to someone and practice karma yoga today!

Donations for phbgtu

Check out phbgtu on Instagram

 

 

Yoga = CommUnity

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Help Refugees, human rights, Imads Syrian Kitchen, London pop-up restaurant, London volunteering, refugees, yoga community, yoga philosophy, Yoga With Paul

Yoga means unity. Every practice is individual but it shouldn’t be solitary. Part of growing as a yogi is extending the benefits we experience to others, in whatever form possible.

I recently spent an inspiring day volunteering at Imad’s Syrian Kitchen, participating in a fundraiser for Help Refugees.

Imad is a wonderful spirit, a refugee himself who is using his skills as a chef and restauranteur to aid others who are struggling to reach safety and rebuild their lives.

It reminded me how closely linked we are as humans. We can’t ignore what’s happening around us, or the needs of others, because we are all connected. We live here together, on this planet, in this moment. We have a daily opportunity to make the world a better place by how we choose to relate.

By participating in our community, we embody the true meaning of yoga. The inward unity of mind-body-spirit that we seek in the studio becomes woven into the fabric of our relationships with others. It truly makes a difference.

Even if you don’t have time to volunteer, there are lots of ways to engage with your community. It might be as simple as helping a neighbour, making a donation or signing a petition to support a good cause. Whatever you can do, don’t wait. Do it!

More about Help Refugees

Help Refugees started as nothing more than a hashtag in August 2015. A group of friends wanted to raise and fill a van full of donations to take down to Calais. Within a week, we had raised . We were soon receiving 7,000 items every day.

Fast forward three years, and we have helped over 722,500 people, managed over 25,000 volunteers, and we support more 80 projects across Europe and the Middle East. We have established a fieldwork first, networked approach to giving aid, establishing local networks and working with local partners to deliver projects.

Click here to learn more and get involved!

You Are Enough, Right Now

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essays, Heather Havrilesky, meditation, mind-body, mindfulness, What If This Were Enough?, yoga, Yoga With Paul

I came across these beautiful paragraphs in an essay called The Miracle of the Mundane. It’s from Heather Havrilesky’s new book What If This Were Enough? which is well worth reading if these wonderful words are anything to go by.

She doesn’t mention yoga, but what she’s talking about — presence, mindfulness, tranquility amidst the bustle — are mental and emotional states that yoga helps cultivate. Through practice, we learn to trust our minds and bodies and exist in the present moment. With every breath, we connect to ourselves and free ourselves from distraction.

Many of us learn to construct a clear and precise vision of what we want, but we’re never taught how to enjoy what we actually have. There will always be more victories to strive for, more strangers to charm, more images to collect and pin to our vision boards. It’s hard to want what we have; it’s far easier to want everything in the world. So this is how we live today: by stuffing ourselves to the gills, yet somehow it only makes us more anxious, more confused, and more hungry. We are hurtling forward — frantic, dissatisfied, and perpetually lost.

Our bewildered state doesn’t just injure us individually; it impedes our ability to work together for a better world. We can’t stand for justice and effect change until we’ve learned to push away empty temptations, shiny dead ends, and trivial distractions. As long as we’re perpetually assaulted by a barrage of news and tweets and texts, as long as commercial messages and smooth brands and profit-minded discourse are our only relief from our insecure realities, we’ll never develop the ability to live in the present moment. We have to cultivate compassion for ourselves and each other. We have to connect with each other in genuine and meaningful ways. But we also have to relearn how to breathe in the late summer air and feel the sunshine, to admire the swelling pink clouds and shut out the hiss of truck brakes, to sit on the ground and look up at the trees without looking ahead to what we’ll post on Facebook about it.

Read anything inspiring lately? Share your recommendations in the comments!

Embracing Difficulties

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Bikram yoga, embracing difficulties, hot yoga, mindfulness, positive thinking, positive yoga, yoga challenge, Yoga With Paul

We learn to face difficulties but what if we could learn to embrace difficulties?

Philosophers through the millennia have taught that the path to fulfillment involves not just accepting but welcoming life’s challenges. Why? Because through them we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, greater compassion for others, and an appreciation for all aspects of our existence.

Practice makes the difficult joyful

How do we embrace difficulties?

Yoga is a wonderful tool because it enables us to physically embody the practice of welcoming challenge. Think about it, every time you step on the mat you are making a choice to step out of your comfort zone. It would be easier to stay at home on the sofa, but you’re something else.

Each posture is a reminder that your mind and body are capable of working in harmony, even if the situation is uncomfortable, like a 40 degree hot studio!

Working on difficult poses teaches that you are capable of making small adjustments that lead to progress. Every time you try a new posture, you show your capacity for doing something brand new.

If you apply your yogi mind to life outside the studio you can develop the exact same ability to surmount difficulties.

Next time you’re faced with a challenging situation, take a deep breath and imagine you’re facing a tough new posture — because you are!

Breath into the discomfort, face it without judgement or expectation of yourself or others. Know that it will pass. Know that next time you will be a little bit stronger, a little bit more steady on your feet, a little bit more prepared.

How does yoga help you embrace challenges? Share in the comments.

Make This Your Lucky Day

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be lucky, Friday 13th, inspiration, Karma, luck, mindfulness, philosophy of yoga, yoga karma, yoga philosophy, Yoga With Paul

Friday the 13th is traditionally bad luck, which makes today the perfect time to reflect on what “luck” means — and how we can make today (and every day) our “lucky day”.

Be lucky

Luck implies that life is something that happens to us. Depending on the era and culture, people have believed that God, the Gods, fate, or some other force is responsible for handing out good and bad events.

Yoga teaches us about karma — that what we experience is a response to what do. Our actions are the root from which karma grows. They determine our “luck”.

Here are five ways to make today your lucky day.

Express love

Take the time today to tell your loved ones that you love them. Sure, they know you love them, but actually saying the words, expressing them out loud, will is an affirmation that will lift them up — and you.

Let one thing go

We all have little things that drive us crazy — the weather, a co-worker, our commute. Today, think of one of these things and make a conscious decision to let it go. Just brush it off, ignore it, don’t give it your mental energy. You’ll be surprised how free you feel.

Do a headstand

Inversions literally let us look at the world from a new angle. Headstands refresh and revitalise our mind and body and they’re just plain fun.

Give

We are exceptionally blessed in our material circumstances, which makes us an exception in the world. Take an opportunity today to share your abundance. This might mean a financial donation, but it could equally be a gift of time, attention, or expertise.

Set your intention

Our attitudes and actions are guided by our intentions. If we want to move through life in health, peace, and happiness, we need to make a conscious decision to value those things (and the actions that bring us closer to them). Today, take some time to think about what matters to you — then set your intention to guide you.

How do you bring luck into your life? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

Feel Good February

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Feel Good Feb, gratitude, kindness, mindful living, random acts of kindness, yoga, yoga community, yoga outreach, Yoga With Paul

February is often thought of as a drab, miserable month with the holidays long over and spring a long way off. Which is why I love the idea of Feel Good Feb, an initiative started by Australian teacher, writer and activist Linda Pang.

Photo via Feel Good Feb

According to the website,

Feel Good Feb was created to encourage and inspire people to initiate random acts of  kindness for their fellow community members. There has been extensive research to prove that ‘giving out good’ not only benefits the receiver but also increases the happiness of the giver. There’s mental happiness and physical benefits for all involved. It is a win-win situation!

In our fast changing world, there seems to be a lot of negative news that we are exposed to. Feel Good Feb is here to bring a ray of brightness and light into the world – and it’s done by YOU.

We would love people to have the intention and take the time to simply ‘lift the vibe’ of those around them. One random act of kindness (RAK) can bring a smile to someone’s face. No matter how big or how small your RAK is, you will be helping make someone’s day that much better.You can literally change their life just by being kind. Then in turn, maybe they will do a kind deed for someone else.  Kindness will flow organically, creating a ripple effect of happiness.

What a brilliant idea. Small gestures can make a big difference. How about paying for an extra bottle of water at the yoga studio and ask the receptionist to give it to the next person through the door? Or taking the time after class to chat to introduce yourself to a fellow student? Or writing a note to a friend you haven’t seen lately?

There are so many ways we can lift and encourage each other. Let’s do it!

Share your ideas for random acts of kindness in the comments!

12 Words to Live By in 2018

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Daily Stoic, New Years Resolutions, philosophy, Stoicism, yoga, yoga meditation, yoga mindfulness, Yoga With Paul

There is a great website called the Daily Stoic that has all kinds of mindfulness exercises and inspiration based on the teachings of Stoic philosophy. A lot of it runs parallel to yogic philosophy, especially the focus on self-awareness and daily practice.

They sent out an email with 12 words to live by in 2018. It’s a list worth reading, pondering, maybe even printing out and sticking next to the mirror!

Clarity — Remember, the most important task is to separate the things that are in your control from those that are not in your control. To get real clarity about what to focus on in life. As Seneca put it, “It’s not activity that disrupts people, but false conceptions of things that drive them mad.”

Equanimity — To the Stoics, the passions were the source of suffering. “A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent,” Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, “and such a person has strength, courage and endurance—unlike the angry and the complaining.” Calmness is strength.

Awareness — Accurate self-assessment is essential. Know thyself, was the dictum from the Oracle at Delphi. Knowing your strengths is just as important as knowledge of your weakness, and ignorance of either is ego. As Zeno put it, “nothing is more hostile to a firm grasp on knowledge than self-deception.”

Unbiased Thought — “Objective judgement, now at this very moment,” was Marcus’s command to himself. Our life is colored by our thoughts, the Stoics said, and so to be driven by this bias or that bias—this delusion or that false impression—is to send your whole existence off-kilter.

Right Action — It’s not just about clear thoughts, but clear thoughts that lead to clear and right action. “First, tell yourself what kind of person you want to be,” Epictetus said, “then do what you have to do.” Emphasis on the do. Remember Marcus: “Don’t talk about what a good man is like. Be one.” This philosophy is for life, not for the ethereal world.

Problem Solving — Are you vexed by daily obstacles or do you throw yourself into solving them? “This is what we’re here for,” Seneca said. No one said life was easy. No one said it would be fair. Let’s make progress where we can.

Duty — “Whatever anyone does or says,” Marcus wrote, “I’m bound to the good…Whatever anyone does or says, I must be what I am and show my true colors.” He was talking about duty. Duty to his country, to his family, to humankind, to his talents, to the philosophy he had learned. Are you doing yours?

Pragmatism — A Stoic is an idealist…but they are also imminently practical. If the food is bitter, Marcus wrote, toss it out. If there are brambles in the path, go around. Don’t expect perfection. Be ready to be flexible and creative. Life demands it.

Resiliency — Do you want to count on good luck or be prepared for anything that happens? The Stoics had an attitude of “Let come what may” because they had cultivated inner-strength and resilience. Make sure you’ve done your training.

Kindness — Be hard on yourself, and understanding of others. See every person you meet, as Seneca tried to do, as an opportunity for kindness and compassion. Nothing can stop you from being virtuous, from being good. That’s on you.

Amor Fati — Don’t just accept what happens, love it. Because it’s for the best. Because you will make it for the best. A Stoic embraces everything with a smile. Every obstacle is fuel for their fire, to borrow Marcus’s metaphor.

Memento Mori — We’re strong but we’re not invincible. We were born mortal and nothing can change that. So let us, as Seneca said, “prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life.” Let us put nothing off, let us live each moment fully

What are your words to live by for 2018? Share in the comments!

Celebrating 2017

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Bikram yoga, daily yoga, hot yoga, meditation, mindfulness, new year 2018, New Years Resolutions, vinyasa yoga, Yoga Holiday With Paul, yoga practice, Yoga With Paul

Happy New Year!

Chances are, you’ve made some resolutions. New Year’s resolutions imply that we need to fix things; that our lives are there to be tidied and perfected.

I suggest before starting on resolutions, however worthwhile, we take the time to think about all the ways life is rich, fulfilling, rewarding and blessed.

Make a list of the amazing things that happened in 2017. Ask yourself

• How did you grow?
• What did you experience?
• How did you invest in your well-being?
• What relationships did you nurture?
• Where did you go?
• What are you grateful for?

My 2017 held incredible moments, like the Yoga Holiday With Paul retreat and my trip to Bhutan. But highlights don’t have to be big adventures or foreign excursions. Some of my most cherished moments were the joy of seeing students grow in their practice, deepening my bonds with family and friends, simply cycling through London and taking in all this city has to offer.

Take the time to celebrate 2017 and please, share your happy moments in the comments or Tweet @YogaWithPaul!