3 Ways to Eliminate Comparison

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daily yoga, gratitude, mindfulness, self-confidence, yoga comparison, yoga habits, yoga mental health, Yoga With Paul

Blogging about yoga for a quiet mind got me thinking about the things that make our minds unquiet. All kinds of beliefs, assumptions, fears and insecurities keep us on edge, waiting for something to change before we can be at peace.

Comparison is one of the big underlying reasons we feel these emotions. It’s a burly taproot, nourishing the small, leafy anxieties of daily life.

Photo by William Warby on Unsplash

From the moment we’re born people compare us – are we cuter, happier, quicker to walk or talk than other babies?

When we go to school, our achievements are compared to others. Whatever we do, from sport to dating, is a basis for comparison. Instead of discovering our intrinsic worth, we are taught our value lies in out-doing someone else.

Comparison is a happiness killer. It dulls our self-confidence and stops us from having whole-hearted relationships. It is a tough habit to break but these three steps can help eliminate comparisons and open you to a richer, happier life.

Tune into the soundtrack in your head

The first thing you have to do to stop comparison is to become aware of what you’re doing. We all have a running mental soundtrack. We are so used to constantly judging other people, and ourselves, that it is almost reflexive. If a colleague gets a promotion, your first impulse might be to feel envious, or insecure that you weren’t chosen. When you consciously examine this thought, you realise that actually they are going to have a lot more work, and that they have totally different experience. Their status is not a reflection on you.

Cultivate gratitude

Someone is always better off than you, and someone is always worse off. Comparison keeps us tugging back and forth between envy and pride, if we let it. Gratitude helps us take a different course. When we make a conscious decision to think about and appreciate the blessings we have – health, friends, hobbies, food, shelter, and so much more – we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves to others. We may not have everything, but we have an abundance.

Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

Practice non-judgmental yoga

Yoga can easily lure us into comparing our practice, postures or bodies with others. This makes it a great opportunity to work on new ways of thinking. To practice non-judgmental yoga, ground yourself in the breath. Focus your whole energy on the movement within your own body. Observe the way your chest rises and falls, the connection of muscles and bones. If you need to, slow down from your regular pace to really concentrate. Gradually, with time, you will find it easier to sink into your own practice instead of getting lured into comparison.

Read more: Body Image Boost, How to Want What You’ve Got

Best of the Year: Yoga Books

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best yoga books, BKS Iyengar, Christine Brown, Every Body Yoga, Jessamyn Stanley, Light On Yoga, The Heart of Yoga, The Yoga Bible, TKV Desikachar, yoga, yoga guide, yoga teachers, Yoga With Paul

A great yoga book can inspire and strengthen your practice. After comparing a number of “best of 2017” books articles I picked out four that appeared on multiple  lists and have gotten great reader reviews across the board. Read on!

The Heart of Yoga by T. K. V. Desikachar

“This is hands down one of the must-have books for anyone making a deep move into the field of Yoga. This is a contemporary classic by a world-renowned teacher, and beautifully captures the essence of Yoga. It is not just a step to step guide to learn Yoga, but it helps you understand it in the true sense. It outlines a step-by-step sequence to develop a complete practice according to Viniyoga (the type of yoga which adapts to the needs of the Yogi).” for more read the full review here

Light on Yoga B. K. S. Iyengar

“If you are looking for a completely definitive guide to Yoga and wish to understand the deeper philosophy behind it as well (and not just the postures), this bible of modern yoga book is just the right pick for you. It has vivid details of all the postures and various breathing exercises (along with complete illustrations) to give you a truly wonderful experience of learning Yoga.” for more read the full review here

The Yoga Bible by Christine Brown

“This book is the #1 Best Seller in its genre on Amazon for a reason. As the name suggests in a very interesting way, this book is indeed the Bible of Yoga, if one puts it that way. It is one of the most comprehensive illustrated step-by-step guides available out there on Yoga postured. It has more than 150 different yogic postures for the reader to master along with advice on when to alter postures and which postures to try. It has a little something for everybody, from beginners to experts.” for more read the full review here

Every Body Yoga by Jessamyn Stanley

“This is the inspirational story of someone who struggled to fit into the classic image of a yoga practitioner but was resilient and determined, so much so that she truly is inspiration in encouraging others to persevere and have a go. The book is part memoir about the author’s experiences and also celebrates some of her achievements, gives background information on the different types of yoga and equipment options but it is also a fun guide to basic yoga poses.

One of the best bits about the poses is that they aren’t demonstrated by the stereotypical skinny, flexible blonde but by all shapes and sizes of people. The instructions are clear and easy to follow, the photos motivating” for more read the full review here

Recommend your favourite yoga book in the comments!

Is Clean Eating Dangerous?

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clean eating, clean food, diet, eating disorders, food blogs, food for yoga, health, healthy eating, nutrition, overweight, weight-loss, yoga nutrition, Yoga With Paul, YWP

Headlines like ‘Clean eating trend can be dangerous for young people’ are designed to get your attention, and it worked!

I know from first-hand experience, and countless stories from friends and students, that clean eating is an important part of wellness. Can it really be dangerous?

Reading the article I discovered the “dangers” are far from clear-cut. The writer muddles together several examples: young people at risk of eating disorders, adults whose OCD-type behaviour extends to food, and people who lose weight due to excessively strict diets — then lays the blame at the feet of “food bloggers”.

Ursula Philpot, a dietitian at the British Dietetic Association, said a fixation with eating healthily had been a noticeable route into eating disorders for vulnerable individuals in the past couple of years.

She identified social media and the rise of healthy food trends and blogs as key drivers of the trend

From my point of view, this is linking unrelated topics. Eating disorders are a genuine, serious mental health issue. Blaming the actions of “vulnerable individuals” on “healthy food trends and blogs” makes as much sense as blaming alcoholism on craft brewers.

Far from being “dangerous” clean eating is a sensible alternative to the processed, fat and sugar-laden foods that have made almost two-thirds of Brits overweight.

Like everything else, healthful eating should take place in the context of a balanced life. Obsessive, anxious or compulsive attitudes towards food are typical of “clean eating”. They are a sign of something wrong that needs to be addressed. But let’s not blame healthy eating for unhealthful behaviours.

Share your thoughts on clean eating in the comments!

 
photo credit: Zaheer Baksh Photography The Right Start… for me via photopin (license)

Food for Yoga (and Life)

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diet, fitness, food, food for life, food for yoga, healthy eating, London yoga teacher, nutrition, Rio Olympics, weight-loss yoga, yoga, Yoga With Paul

What does food mean to you? Is it an indulgence? Necessity? Pleasure? Worry?

I recently read a great post about attitudes to food that reminded me of the many ways we think about food — and how those attitudes affect our strength and well-being. This paragraph really jumped out:

[I often] eat far less than I know I should, mostly because of poor time management. Now, this is a pretty common problem, and here’s some ways that people like me talk about it:

“I know I should have, I just didn’t have time to eat lunch today.”

“There just wasn’t a break between classes and things just had to get done, so I just couldn’t eat before training.”

The problem, though, isn’t just the skipped meals. It’s the fact that secretly I’m proud of having skipped them. This pride is a holdover from a mentality that calories are bad (they aren’t). But being secretly proud of your skipped lunch should make as little sense as being secretly proud of your skipped workout, because both types of activity (eating and exercising) are important.

As a dancer and now a yoga teacher I am very aware of the pressure towards and pursuit of the “perfect body”, which is reinforced by media and marketing. We see so many images of slimness that are equated to health we subconsciously absorb the message that thinner = fitter. If you stop to think about this, it makes no sense. Strength, fitness, and flexibility are independent of body mass. While extreme overweight or thinness can be dangerous there is a vast range of perfectly healthy body shapes, types and sizes.

One great thing about the Rio Olympics was the diversity of athletic bodies on display. Shot-putters look nothing like gymnasts; distance runners would never pass for swimmers; boxers and equestrians have totally different forms. Yet despite this positive reality, it is easy to get caught in the fiction that you’re not really fit unless you’re slim.

This thought process leads to an unhealthy relationship to food. It becomes an enemy or, at best, a grudging necessity. The fact is, food is fuel. When your car needs petrol you don’t mutter and criticise, you just fill it up. We need to have a similarly practical approach to our bodies. We need to eat regular meals of mostly whole foods. We need to enjoy food and appreciate its role in our well-being.

How do you view food? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

#YWP July Newsletter

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best yoga advice, clean eating, food for yoga, London summer, nutrition, seasonal recipes, summer yoga, vegetarian recipes, yoga, Yoga Holiday With Paul, yoga teacher, yoga tips, Yoga With Paul, YWP

Summertime! Dive in for seasonal recipes, yoga tips and inspiration in the
July Yoga With Paul newsletter

Yoga With Paul newsletter JULY 2016

Talking About Bodies

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Bikram hot yoga, Bikram yoga, body image, health, London yoga studio, nutrition, women, yoga and body image, yoga eating, yoga postures, yoga weight loss, Yoga With Paul

Yoga helps us develop a positive awareness of our bodies. We stretch mentally and physically, learning to challenge our limitations and gain confidence. Once we step out of the Bikram studio, however, we are surrounded by negative conversations about bodies.

Women in particular are bombarded by images of bodies that simply don’t exist without PhotoShop. Men, too, are seeing more and more exaggerated bodies. (Not everyone can looks like David Beckham, nor do we all want to!) Over at Irresponsibility my friend Cila blogged about why the way we talk about our bodies matters. “We don’t tell our friends they would look better if they lost a couple kilos,” she notes. “Let’s show ourselves the same respect.”

Here are her five tips for fostering positive body-talk.

1. Don’t make moral judgements about food. If it makes you happy, healthy and strong it is good; if it makes you feel like crap, it’s bad. It’s not a moral issue.
2. Don’t justify what you eat. If you really think you shouldn’t have ice cream, don’t; but don’t make a song and dance about it. If you want ice cream, just eat it — no apologies.
3. Don’t take part in body-bashing conversations. The next time someone starts with the negative body-talk say kindly, “I think you’re gorgeous” and refuse to discuss it further.
4. Talk about something interesting instead. We live in a big, crazy, exciting world full of events and ideas. It does not revolve around the circumference of (y)our hips.
5. Work your body. Part of the reason we get so hung up on our bodies is we spend too much time looking at them and not enough using them. Do Bikram yoga. Run. Dance. Do a headstand.

What are your tips for positive body-talk? Share in the comments.